


Ultimate Bro Fist Bump

by Fluffinson (orphan_account)



Category: Dark (TV 2017)
Genre: Gen, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-16 20:58:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13062021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Fluffinson
Summary: Even before he knew, Mikkel had always loved theshiatsuout of Jonas.





	Ultimate Bro Fist Bump

 

 

There was something about Jonas that was eminently likeable. Out of all of his older siblings friends, which admittedly wasn't terribly a lot, Jonas had always stood out. Had always been the nice one, the one that connected to Mikkel on his level.

There was a kinship Mikkel hadn't felt with anyone else.

Mikkel got it. They still saw him as a baby.

Which he wasn't.

Jonas' sheer presence was a cause for celebration. He was cheerful, just like his startlingly yellow jacket.

He made Mikkel laugh. Or he had, before the summer happened.

Mikkel wasn't supposed to know it all, but he did. Everyone talked about it. How Jonas' dad had killed himself. It made a tight knot swell in Mikkel's stomach whenever he thought of it.

He didn't think about it a lot. There were too many other things going on - classmates and friends, and then the missing boy. He remembered when Jonas had been all Martha could talk about.

She didn't talk about him anymore. Neither did Magnus.

There was a short time where Mikkel thought he'd never see Jonas again.

But then he did.

They all treated him differently, even Mikkel could see that. Older kids were weird though. And Mikkel felt Jonas appreciated it - when he treated him the same as he'd always had.

 

Then _it_ happened and nothing was the same. 

 

Afterwards, Mikkel would have been ashamed to admit Jonas did not seriously cross his thoughts again for another 15 years and then only briefly.

They named the baby Jonas because Hannah suggested it and it stirred a lot of nostalgic, warm memories for Mikkel. He stayed far from Ulrich, far from Katharina. But this indulgence of the past, he allowed. He wondered briefly who else would be having a Jonas that year. Tried to recall Magnus and Martha's classmates and failed.

He remembers dressing the baby in sunny yellow, kissing its fat little cheeks and lifting the giggling mass in the air. How his heart broke with love for the little thing. And he'd wished he could share the moment with his parents, could present them with their grandchild.

Everything about Jonas was perfect, from his tiny clasping fingers to his bright eyes.

But always, Mikkel longed for home.

 

It took him longer to clue in than it should have. Mikkel wondered if it hadn't been wilful ignorance on his part. He couldn't be sure.

Sometimes Mikkel felt that certain parts of his brain didn't work anymore. That, to survive, he'd had to cut them off. Parts like his love for his father and mother. His love for his siblings.

He watched them from afar, always through a haze of memory. His childhood recollection was full of ghosts. He could admit that to himself.

He could also admit it hurt. It hurt to stay away and it hurt to get close.

It hurt to acknowledge Hannah's obsession with his father.

His own wife married to the son of the man she'd loved since before they'd met.

It was all so very wrong and Mikkel was the most wrong of all. He could bear it though, at times when he looked at Jonas. And hadn't he known since they moved into Jonas' house that it was him? He should have known.

Even before he took Jonas school shopping that year.

Like destiny, the bright yellow coat stood stiff on its hanger.

Mikkel himself picked it out. Unable to stop himself.

Jonas had loved it and Mikkel had clapped him on the back, kissed the top of his head. Had ruffled his boy's hair, overcome with love. And he felt it then - that same old kinship.

He knew suddenly that it'd never be his intention to hurt Jonas.

"Dad I'm not a little boy anymore." Jonas said, smiling wide and pleased.

Mikkel felt like crying. Jonas, all these years later, still making him smile.

 

There came a moment when Mikkel knew without doubt he would try to stop it from happening.

It was then that Mikkel looked at Jonas and knew he needed to stop himself at all cost.

So strong was the impulse, Mikkel had felt there was only one way ensure it.

 

 

 

 


End file.
